Whispers from the Abyss

2012-01-30T13:31:00.002+08:00

Still hardly to get any news from her.
Very worry actually.
Somehow manage to get some updates from some friends who she has been contacting.
All I can do now is praying hard for uncle.
Hope uncle will be fine.
Hope uncle can get well soon.
Uncle must JIA YOU also, your family and your lovely daughter are still waiting for you.
This is the first time I pray to GOD so much.
This is the first and also will be the last wish I ask from GOD.
Hope this only wish of mine can be granted.
GOD must bless him.
Please.

My Kind Of Perfect (14)

2012-01-29T03:56:00.002+08:00

He tried pretending not to care.
He tried to ignore her by mixing around with his close friends.
He thought it will be easier for him if he doesn't care about her too much.
But whenever something happens to her, he is actually the ones that care the most.
He just couldn't stop thinking about her, wanted to be by her side when she needs help.

Now he knows it's not that easy to give up.
Because she will always be the person he cares about the most.
Because she will always be the most important person in his life.
Because she will always be the girl who he loves the most.

2012-01-28T19:31:00.002+08:00

Really wish I can be by your side at time like this.
Really wish I can be more useful for you at time like this.
Nothing worst than being not able to do anything when knowing you are in deep trouble.
Hate myself for being so incapable!
All I can do now is pray hard that everything will be alright.
GOD, I am begging you.

My Kind Of Perfect (13)

2012-01-22T00:14:00.002+08:00

It's just too heavy for me to bear after all.

My Kind Of Perfect (12)

2012-01-21T04:14:00.002+08:00

She asked him to give up, but he never listened.
He just couldn't do that.
He tried his very best to treat her like his best friend.
But for him, she is always more than just friend.
He just wants to be able to help her whenever she needs help.
He never demands anything.

But sometimes, he does feel lonely.
And sometimes, he does feel jealous.
Maybe he isn't that tough as he thought to bear this one-sided love.
Sometimes, he hopes she can notice him more.
And sometimes, he hopes she can care about him more.
And sometimes, he really hopes that miracle will happen...

My Kind of Perfect (11)

2012-01-19T03:03:00.002+08:00

There's a girl, who he loves so much.
There's a girl, who he cares about so much.
There's a girl, who can makes him always there to help her.
There's a girl, who can makes him sacrifice anything for her.
There's a girl, who can makes him willing to wake up anytime when she calls for help.
There's a girl, who can makes him willing to stay awake in the middle of the night to help her finish off her works.

And there's a girl, who always belonged to someone else.

My Kind of Perfect (10)

2011-12-17T00:42:00.001+08:00

Show encrypted text

My Kind of Perfect (9)

2011-11-18T23:02:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I just can't understand our relationship. Sometimes I feel like we're friends, sometimes I feel like we're more than friends, but sometimes I feel like I'm just a stranger for you.

My Kind of Perfect (8)

2011-11-10T02:05:00.002+08:00

It's damn not fair when you can easily ignore my texts while I am always ready be there for you upon receiving your texts, despite under any situation.

Before The Storm

2011-10-14T00:51:00.004+08:00

Show encrypted text

Life is like a boat

2011-10-03T23:29:00.003+08:00

Nobody knows who I really am;
I never felt this empty before;
and if I ever need someone to come along;
who's gonna comfort me and give me strong?

Beyond the Wasteland 2

2011-10-02T00:13:00.002+08:00

Just came back from Genting Highlands with my friends. It was really fun. Although it's just a 2 days 1 night trip, and precisely we reached there about 5pm and come down at about 6pm the next day. We have done so many crazy things there. First, we were playing the in the lift, we were acting like the lift was going up in very fast speed just like on of the scene in the movie Percy Jackson. We acted like undergoing the effect of inertia when the lift was starting to move up and got one people in the lift was shocked and I bet in that moment he was thinking, "what the fuck is happened to the lift?". LOL.

The second thing was bathing with the COLD water at there!! You can't imagine how freezing cold is the water. Yet we tried it. That feeling is so....ummm...wonderful? LOL. It was damn syok!! It was just like a layer of ice is formed on your skin after you bath. One of my friend started this and he asked all of us to try. We all laughed our asses off when he was shouting like having orgasm when bathing with the freaking freezing cold water.

Enjoyed the trip. Damn tired now. More crazy experiences will be revealed next time. To be continued...

On The Precipice Of Defeat 4

2011-09-30T00:52:00.001+08:00

It's sad when people you know, become people you knew;
when you can walk right past someone,
like they were never a big part of your life.

How you used to be able to talk for hours, and how now,
you can barely even look at them.

Never Meant To Belong

2011-09-21T00:22:00.002+08:00

Recently, I realized I really don't know where I belong and what's the purpose of my life. Sometimes I wish I never existed. Seriously, if I was given a choice, I might be choosing not to be born into this world. I think life is full of suffering. Don't you think relationship problem, pressure, and fears toward uncertainties are killing us everyday? But since I am already here, I do appreciate my parents for bringing me to this world. I think they are the persons love me the most.

After fooling around for the past 20 years, I think it's the time to get serious now. Starting to strike hard for the sake of my future. Going to enhance my knowledge about investment. Going to start study probability and statistic and also financial maths on my own from now on, can't afford to waste anytime anymore, I need to finish at least 1 SOA paper by next year. I want to be a successful actuary as fast as possible. I need a lot of money, I want to travel to as many places as possible around the world before I die. Time to get serious. This time, I meant it.

Untitle (3)

2011-09-19T01:12:00.002+08:00

What's wrong with me now? Even alcohol can't help me to get to sleep easier. Need to wake up at 6am later but I still can't force myself to fall asleep. I really wish there is a switch in my brain and I can switch it off for anytime I want. Ishhhhh......

My Kind of Perfect (7)

2011-09-18T01:04:00.000+08:00

At least I told her =)

My Kind of Perfect (6)

2011-09-17T03:09:00.005+08:00

Show encrypted text

My Kind of Perfect (5)

2011-09-07T03:15:00.003+08:00

Show encrypted text

My Kind of Perfect (4)

2011-09-06T02:58:00.002+08:00

Show encrypted text

My Kind of Perfect (3)

2011-09-01T12:27:00.002+08:00

Got one type of girl, you love her so much, but you can't start a relationship with her, because she is really special to you, because you can't afford to lose her.

My Kind of Perfect (2)

2011-09-01T00:46:00.006+08:00

Show encrypted text

I love you.

My Kind of Perfect

2011-08-30T03:02:00.001+08:00

Show encrypted text

Lies

2011-07-31T22:54:00.004+08:00

Seriously I just hate lies. Don't you think it is just a meaningless endless cycle? Once you make one lie, another lie is needed to cover the previous lie, and the process keeps going. Pointless and troublesome.

Oh yeah, tell you something, I never meant to tell you any lie, and I don't allow myself lying to you. Because I wanted it to be real, anything between you and me. I'm trusting you. So, if anything happened to us someday, I wish at least you can be frank with me. Hope you will never betray me. Because my heart is really fragile.LOL

Stranger?

2011-07-24T01:33:00.004+08:00

终于体会到什么是最熟悉的陌生人～
还真的是零交流～
不懂你在想什么～
不懂你有几不爽我～
不懂要跟你讲什么～
真的怕讲多错多～
真的很不喜欢这样～
我真的很废材～
讨厌我自己 >

We were so close together, but the twilight has a different color now.
The abundance of kindness only keeps a distance between us.
Our coldly ignored hearts are wandering in the midst.
If this awkwardness is what it's like to live,
I can't imagine how miserable my life would be.

Doctor, here pain.

2011-07-23T01:42:00.001+08:00

Doctor, it's not bleeding, but…it hurts really bad right here.

It's meaningless

2011-07-21T23:50:00.002+08:00

It's meaningless...I hate this world..I hate this life..and I hate myself so much. It's not bleeding but I feel hurt, I don't know where is the source, but it just hurt. I think I'm lost. Damn it!

Friendship - The bond between you and me

2011-07-12T23:02:00.011+08:00

I hope you can read this.
Passkey hint : My facebook password (or ask me)
Show encrypted text

hidden text

Laziness

2011-04-20T19:33:00.002+08:00

Is anyway to overcome my laziness? Next week is gonna be my final exam already and I don't have any mood and motivation to revise now. It took me 3 days to read 3 short chapters. What the hell am I doing? Someone force me to study please...

Tired

2011-04-14T01:36:00.002+08:00

Stop spending every second in your day for waiting her to online anymore. Stop stalking her facebook profile constantly. You are nothing for her. She won't see you. Wake up!

Cheong K~~

2011-04-10T14:04:00.003+08:00

Had a great time yesterday night. You guys still are my best cheong k's gang^^

4th Week

2009-10-01T22:23:00.002+08:00

I have finally finished my ENL 101 group project and psychology mid semester test. My life this week was damn hectic. And I should blame myself for not spending the previous holidays wisely. I was stressed by studying for my test and doing my project since the due date of the project and the rest are both on today. Since it is my nature to procrastinate things until the last minute, I simply felt the time was not enough for me. Anyway, I am glad that I finally manage to sail through it.

I seriously need some relaxation. But it seems that my works won't allow me to. I need to pass up my moral assignment next week, I need to prepare for my presentation next week and I also need to study for my quiz next week. The works seem never ending for me. Perhaps this is a short semester? However, I hope I can finish as many as I can before going back to Tampin tomorrow. Home is meant to relax^^

After Holiday

2009-09-28T21:26:00.002+08:00

Honestly, I did nothing but only relaxing and enjoying myself during the holiday. I promised myself to study for my mid sem exam during the break but it seems that there were too many distractions for me. I only took out my book from bag unwillingly to study on the Saturday which the holiday was coming to end. I spent my whole week relaxing, hanging out with friends, playing HON (the computer game which is as addictive as dota), and sometimes I even continued playing dota till 4 or 5 am. I am greatly sleep deprived now. I always feel sleepy no matter how long I sleep. I seem cannot concentrate to study for my mid sem test. I still haven't started my assignments. ENL 101's project need to be handed up by this Thursday. It seems that I need pressure from lecturers to make me start doing my assignments. Burning midnight oil and last minute works are my style.

I have gotten back my psychology quiz result (94%) and ENL 101 mid sem result (93.5%). I am quite not satisfy with my results. I was aiming for higher score.

Psychology mid sem test in on this Thursday. It will be harder as it includes short questions and essays instead of only MCQ. Anyway, I wish I can do well in the test. That's all, is time to study.

Holidays

2009-09-17T23:27:00.003+08:00

Next week will be a whole week break. I am going back to home tomorrow by Kang Lian's car.
Vincent is having class till 6pm tomorrow. It means that we are gonna to wait till 6pm. About the one week break, it seems like a study week rather than holidays. Mid-semester evaluation is on the following week. Besides, I also need to do something about my assignments.

Hopefully I can make good use of this holidays. Happy Hari Raya and happy holidays!

Random update

2009-09-15T23:32:00.004+08:00

I get 25/27 for my ENL 101 weekly assessment. I am not satisfied with my result. I made silly mistakes.

Pyschology quiz in on Thursday. I haven't finish my revision. My process is slow. Hopefully I can finish my revision by tomorrow.

The representatives from University of Pennsylvania will be at INTI-UC tomorrow. I wonder will I have the time to visit the seminar or not.

There will be less update for this week. I am running out of time for my revision and assignments. I have been procrastinated too much.

Procrastination

2009-09-12T23:52:00.003+08:00

I came back to home yesterday with Vincent them. It was Vincent's father who fetched us home. Inside the car, we was so quiet and neither Vincent nor me was taking the initiative to start a conversation. Kang Lian and Poh Hui did talk to each other with low voice, but it only lasted for a while. After a long silence, Vincent's father finally asked, "Why don't you guys talk? It is so quiet". We was all stunned for a while, then laughed together.

I spent most of the time at home playing computer games. I have been procrastinating. All my assignments are not started yet. I have relaxed too much. I really got to do something about it.
I wonder how can I get rid off my laziness and distractions around me. I always feel tired and and lack of concentration. I wonder what is wrong in me. I have chosen my own route and I am having a great passion to achieve my dream. I am supposed to be motivated. But I am still doubting myself, worrying about the unseen future and uncertainties, and feeling inferior to others. I must change those perceptions. I should be more assertive. I need a change and a farewell to my uselessness.

Second week of AUP

2009-09-10T22:39:00.002+08:00

It's the end of week 2 again. I am going back home tomorrow. Vincent said Kang Lian's car still got a place. But they are going back after 6 p.m. It means that I need to spend my whole boring day in INTI since I have no class for tomorrow. I think I may go back earlier on my own, with the hope that I may bump into someone at Seremban.

My roommate haven't come back. His brother is in hospital and he need to take care of him. He moves between INTI and the hospital everyday. What a great brother.

Having English and Psychology test next week. All the assignments have been assigned. Gonna be busy next week.

September 09, 2009

2009-09-09T23:49:00.002+08:00

It's 090909 today. Yet, either this date or this figure doesn't mean anything to me. Anyway, I do like Wednesday a lot. It just simply I only have four hours of class for this day, which is from 8 to 12.

My roommate has went missing again. He didn't come back since yesterday. He did the same thing in last week too. I wonder where he went. Perhaps he is assigned for special mission? LOL! Just kidding.

Today, I spent my whole afternoon by watching dramas and entertainment shows. DC++ is absolutely a great distraction for me. I can't stop myself from downloading stuffs. I think I may need to manage my time wisely. I may need a schedule to control myself. There is no room for complacency, I need to improve myself.

I was planning to have short nap and get up for my study. But the "short" snap took me 2 hours. I have wasted so much of time.

Shawn asked me for dinner at dining hall. I met Vincent there. 3 of us were having our dinner together. Later, I noticed Kang Lian was there too. Kang Lian came to join us and we had a short talk.

Need to study now. Having psychology quiz next week. Good night.

Stress

2009-09-07T23:03:00.003+08:00

This is the second week of my life in INTI. I feel stressed here. Maybe I should say that I made myself stress. It's mainly caused my financial problem. I need a scholarship so badly. I knew an average academic achievement will not not get me a scholarship. I start doubting myself for my capability. I am worried that I might not be able to get a result that is good enough for me to apply any scholarship. I am still feeling inferior to others.

Anyway, instead of keep doubting myself, maybe I should try my best to make myself the crème de la crème. Hope I can do it.

Back to INTI

2009-09-06T22:24:00.002+08:00

It is Sunday again. I was so reluctant to go back INTI again. I still cannot endure the distraction of the computer games and dramas at home.

Nothing special happened today. My life is normal and boring as usual. Need to study already.
Good night.

Distraction

2009-09-06T00:16:00.002+08:00

I am not studying again for today. There are too many distractions at home. The comfortable bed makes me slept until 11.30 am. After my lunch, I spent my whole afternoon in front of the computer watching drama and surfing net. After that, I went out with Aliff and Vincent to buy food.
Once I reached home, I was sitting in front of the computer again.

I really need to discipline myself. I have to finish the assignments. I have to improve my English and articulation. I don't have much time to waste. I really cannot compromise with my incapability, I need to improve myself. I need a scholarship so badly. I hope INTI can extend my full tuition waiver for the second year.

Returning home

2009-09-06T00:15:00.002+08:00

I am at home again. I don’t have any class in Friday. After my breakfast, I took some time to pack my things and head to the bus stop. It’s so troublesome to go back by public transportations. I spent time waiting and waiting for the bus and commuter train. A one hour journey by car from Nilai to Tampin takes me more than 2 hours by using public transportation.

Anyway, returning home is the best thing. I can use a better internet connection. I can finally watch the TVB dramas that I have missed for 1 week via PPStream. I can gather with my friends at mamak stall. I can sleep until 12 pm.

I may start reading my psychology textbook tomorrow. As I mention ‘may’, this means if I can manage to endure all the distractions around me. I wish to finish it in 2 weeks. And I also wish to finish my psychology assignment as soon as possible.

That’s it for today. I want continue my PPStream-ing. Good night.

First week of AUP

2009-09-06T00:15:00.001+08:00

This is my first week in INTI. This is a short semester and I am only 3 subjects.

My English lecturer is strict and serious. He proclaimed he is doing what a typical America lecturer does. I am so worry I might fail to get a good grade for my English. Anyway, I must do my best to maintain my scholarship.

My moral class is funny. The lecturer is kind and funny. He said he will surely let all of us pass. That is great.

Psychology class is relaxing. We always allowed to leaving early. The sad thing is my psychology textbook is 800++pages thick. I have to finish reading it in 2 months time. Maybe I only have to skim over it.

That’s all. Not much to share. Bye bye.